The Last Day

Well, yesterday was Connors last day at preschool. Its ironic that while our kids played (in the vincinity of each other, for the most part) the parents and teachers were the ones that cried. You see, some of our kids are moving on to Kindergarten and Connor is one of them. As a parent, I can tell you it hurts so very much in so many ways. We feel like we are little fish being thrown into the ocean. Now, just as we felt that our children were in a comfortable safe place and we felt that the teachers who were so gifted and we had become so close to, we had to move on. I watched teachers and parents cry but I tried so very hard to pretend that we would be back as usual the next day. If I had really let myself go emotionally I am sure I would have completely lost it. Now, we will be on unfamiliar territory. Some of us will learn far more about IEP's and how very much they will mean to us and our children. Some of us will forgo the normal route of schooling and set out to make a change in a school that doesn't know very much at all about the autism spectrum. This is the route I have chosen. I am scared. Did I make the right choice? Was it really for me or for Connor? What happens if this experiment fails?What next? I have done all the paperwork, arranged the financing, talked to the teachers and principal, hired an aide, and even helped to start a support group. I'm not sure what else I could possibly do. Still I am scared that it will all fall apart and then our choices will be few.